Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Dropping the Ping Pong Balls

"Well, Mr. Green Jeans, if you hadn't gone on vacation, Rabbitt wouldn't have gotten into the lettuce patch..."

So...Captain Kangaroo on steroids is going to the U.N., and the Democrats are very unhappy about that. John Kerry said, "This is not the way to fill our most important diplomatic jobs."

Excellent point, Senator. So I'm going to do something I've not done before in this blog—I'm going to repeat myself:

The astonishing thing about all this to me is that we as citizens even allow Congress to take a month off in the summer—just like that, all at once! Think about your own workplace: could everyone in your entire company, or your department, even, just up and vacate the premises for a week, let alone a month? How can the government get away with this? Why isn't there a million-person march descending on Capitol Hill to protest this madness? Why isn't there a petition with about a hundred million signatures on it, demanding that these people who are paid enormous salaries to represent the people of this nation in the most powerful legislative body on the planet put in the time and the work necessary to accomplish the will of the people? How do we allow this lazy decadence to persist, year after year after bloody year? Incredible.

And how did it get into the Constitution, anyway, that when the cooks are out of the kitchen the dogs can empty the cupboard? Who thought it a good idea to say that the President can do what he damned well pleases whenever Capitol Hill empties out for playtime? Does it work the other way—could Congress rewrite the laws of our land while Bush is on vacation? If so, then they sure have plenty of time and opportunity.

But isn't this all really a wake-up call for some Constitutional revision? I'm not talking about amendments...this requires a cleaning of a two-centuries-old clock that's still ticking to the beat of life in the Rococco era. Can't people see what is directly in front of them?

You don't send 550 people from the legislative arm of the government home all at once—for a whole goddam month! Not when there's a war on and a corruption scandal involving a treasonous act by the P.R. wing of the executive branch and innocent civilians being bombed all over the planet.

So the complacency here runs bipartisanly-deep. The Dems had to see this coming; but their feelings are hurt when Bush whines about the need to overcome "shameful delaying tactics" with this so-called appointment (it's more like a commitment, as in psychiatric). Instead of whining, they should come back to Washington as a unified body and start shaking the dust out of the Constitution.

What if you had to go to the hospital and were told, "oh, you picked a bad time to get sick...it's August...the doctors are all on recess. But the administration can provide you with a very competent surrogate who will yell at you and call you names until you're well."

Yes, Bush's remarks were disgusting in their duplicity—how can this guy call shame on anyone when it covers him like flies on fresh shit? But we have to insist on the government, and everyone within the government, clearly seeing and dealing with the underlying and substantive issue here. We aren't in school anymore, and these times we live in sure as hell ain't recess. If you want a vacation from your job, you have to get the approval of your manager. We're the managers of Congress...let's tell them "No Recess—not now!"

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