Tuesday, February 7, 2006

The Iliad and the Maddensy


Yeah, MSNBC was all over the news of the day Monday morning, weren't they? If you'd checked the fine print there, you would have seen the other, lesser stories of the day—you know, the boring stuff—the burning of the Danish embassy, Iranian nukes, the Cole terrorist's prison escape...

But wait a minute...I was watching the Super Bowl too! Well, I was working on my Sunday post with a Word window open as I listened for juicy Maddenese. I got plenty of it—and BOOM, I copied out of lot of what I heard into a poem. Here's the first half:


1st Quarter

In today's quick-throw football that's very difficult
They're going to change the ball
On every play in the first half.

And you know, that's where it all starts—
If this guy catches you off balance
He just launches you.

He gets that right arm around his neck
And puts the old choke hold on 'im.

The bad news is throwin' into
A lot of white jerseys.
They love to sneak out
And get that guy that's not lookin'

Both these teams look a little tight
Right in front of the official—
He pushed off with his right hand.

The tough thing about going outside
Is how they cut back on you.

2nd Quarter

You could see that one comin' up here Al
The old picket fence.
It was still a good-lookin' wall.

They were cool on Wednesday and Thursday
As we all are—special anyway.
One comin' in, one goin' out
One short one medium one deep.

Momentum's goin' the other way
Everything's goin' the other way
You need a change.

First of all there's a helmet to helmet contact
It could be his ankle.
He has become very good
At these types of things.

They don't look like they have a plan
You can't see where they're goin'
Boy did he get hit.

Just hit the seam
Before you get to the safety.
Try and get that safety out of there.

When that end gets up the field
Escape to that side
Take that window
And throw out of it.

Did you hear that slap? Whap!
You spar, you spar, you spar
And then you put a plan together.

He only had one foot in on that play
You always want to have a cushion
Between yourself and that sideline.

They got discombobbled, got confused
And I don't understand, it doesn't make any sense.
That will make a coach scratch his head.

1 comment:

Perez said...

stupendous.