Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Bush and Benedict: Two Nuts in a Scrotum

Hey everybody...Night the Cat here. While my human messes around with the banner again, I thought I'd drop a few pennies into the well here.

You see, I've figured out something about you humans: you're all what I would call...um...how to put this correctly?...Assholes.

Yep, that sums it up. Take this President of yours: he wants America to be a beacon for the world. Well, most creatures, whether or not they've been given the dubious gift of human language, would guess that in order to be a beacon, you have to give off some light. So since when did light come from wrapping yourself in darkness?

But you hear him use the expression all the time: "a beacon of freedom." He makes that by doing every foul and illegitimate thing possible to subvert human freedom—and then finally dogging Congress into writing his crimes into law. With freedom like this, who needs Gitmo?

Another favorite saying of this guy is "beacon of hope." Now I've never seen a more hopeless creature this side of a dog pound, but maybe that's just me. The only hope I see this guy beaconing is in the boardroom of Halliburton. But if you're looking for hope in Anbar province, Afghanistan, Baghdad, or New Orleans; well, happy hunting.

Who's running your country, after all? Why, it's Mr. Knuckles!

Hey, look at the bright side, people: you've got your own Pope there in Washington. You see, he's infallible, too. Two peas in a pod, these guys—or you might say, two nuts in a scrotum. The Vatican King's handlers are saying that it's "unprecedented" for him to apologize for anything—he's never wrong, you see; and when you're never wrong, you don't have to apologize. Tyranny means never having to say you're sorry.

Sound familiar? Yep, whether the Texas Tongue Step is done in Crawford, Washington, Italy, or somewhere in Bavaria, it's all the same thing: these guys talk trash like the planet's too clean or there's no tomorrow, and then their leash-holders get all in a huff when the crazies that they're insulting start spitting and growling for jihad.

Oops, here's my human...I guess he's done with his geek stuff for now. Meow.

"Night, you're right...you were always right...us people are a bunch of blithering, barking, raving morons, and we're getting stupider by the second!"

Hmm...not bad, human; I couldn't have said it better myself. See ya around, folks.

Let Congress know that if they dare to legitimize Bush's war crimes, they do so at their own electoral peril. Complete the short action form at the link and follow it up with a phone call to your local rep's office.

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